I know no one reads this but me, but I hope one day that will change-unless Slime Crime decides that the word Lime is their property, always has been, always will be, and wants to sue me. Srsly, I came up w/ Spanglelime a long time ago-I wanted a fun word, or name. Now I'm officially a dual citizen of the United Kingdom (or Great Britain and Northern Ireland as it says in my passport) and a United States of America citizen. I took Spangle from the US national anthem and Lime from one of the traditional slang terms to describe brits. Thus-Spanglelime. So if I ever pursue my own business, whatever it maybe, that is what I'm calling it.
I'm half-tempted to start my own cosmetics line, purely to see what Slime Crime would do. Try to slap a grossly expensive civil suit on me where the burden of proof would be upon them to prove what...I've never spoken out to the detriment of the company.
I believe it's the Russian that believes squashing and oppressing those who disagree or get in your way or in any way have some sort of differing opinion, is the only way to live. Look at Putin. Look what he's doing to dissent now. Yet Russia hides behind a cozy false image of westernized democracy. You can't ever paint over blood though. I wonder if they know that. No matter what, it never goes away. Seeps through new coats of paint, shows up via Luminol (or the new wonder spray that doesn't break down DNA the more you spray it). Anyway...repackaging TKB pigments...sounds easy and lucrative. hmmm. If only there were colours bright enough for me but no cosmetics company has ever made some....

Okay total ramble, on topic, Jess from Out in a Pout is having a Blogiversary Giveaway. Here's the link: http://outinapout.blogspot.com/2010/12/happy-blogiversary-to-meeeee.html
She's amazing and has an incredibly generous and kind spirit, I mean, just look at the products in the giveaway. She is a truly wonderful person. But I'm mostly impressed by her Beautybloggers.org post. A charity auction with all proceeds going to Doctors Without Borders. Unbelievably cool. No one ever gives a second thought to that organization and it's my dream to work for them when I get better again. So if you're reading this, follow Jess' blog Out in a Pout, enter her giveaway and bid on the auction! If you win, MSF wins and then developing nations, such as Haiti or Indonesia, win. There is no call for a cholera epidemic in this day and age. By bidding, you can stop it. Also by entering Jess' giveaway, you're reading a very cool blog by a really cool person and possibly winning a lot of very cool products.
If you read this. You probably don't. Shame.
I'll try to blog more so I become readable!
~Alex

Less twitter, more journal

I just found a poem I wrote in my journal I actually think is halfway decent:

I'm alive, I'm alive
But oh what was the price
did someone die in my stead
walk that black tunnel to the end?

I can breathe through this atmosphere
See great wonders
Taste the air
But did someone die in my stead
Am I alive because they're dead?

I've seen the storms
join overhead with poisoned stars
and broken light
Felt so unfixable
That I just longed for a knife

It's not a life that you are saving
But a void where one used to be
It's a request for pure relief
A chilly calm
Death's tranquility

FTR I don't write poetry and I've always sucked at it. I'm a prose writer, I capture moments, events, people inside my head, that exist inside my head and write their stories. I am envious of those who can write lyrics and poems but...keep trying...I want to write something for Tomek and Meral. If writing is my gift, then I will use it and give it to them.

Let's Dance to Joy Division...and Celebrate the Irony!

First I am finally admitting my medical condition has got the best of me mentally and I very very depressed. I know all the literary giants were way fucked up, depressed suicidal alcoholics the lot of them, but I'm not the latter two (though I feel like a waste of space most of the time) and I don't drink, Second, Many people can fit this profile and cannot even spell cat. Thus these two don't correlate.
But admitting I am majorly depressed and truly at the point of not giving a shit anymore is a big step.
I have also decided there is a finite amount of love in the world. If someone becomes truly hateful and gets a grinch-like heart...well medically speaking, ya dead. Literately speaking, any love or love-potential they had, flies off to someone else. It's like the laws of physics concerning energy.
Finally, a little piece I wrote last night, slap-dash...I can't write actual pages of prose or poetry or songs or stories or noveles, just random shit. And I couldn't find my um-lau for the u in Kubler.

Grief is simply the manifestation of a heart ripped asunder and the thought, "I don't know how to exist in a world that you no longer exist in,"

Elizabeth Kubler-Ross was wrong- her stages were manifested supposedly at death. Sometimes you lose someone forever as they sit beside you. Kubler-Ross was either never in love - unrequited or real - broke up or broken up with, or gave everything to one person to leave nothing for others except that wall you built; Fortress around a heart-shaped black hole.

The Real First Post

Okay, so this blog is for my totally off-colour OTT OT ramblings, writing if I get to it-mostly prose, my poetry and lyrics suck badly but I can, or used to be able to, write a short-to-long story no sweat, gushing to cyberspace where no one will read it because if I think it's gross, chances are any friends I do have left will soon do the leaving thing too, quotes and lyrics I like, pictures and images that inspire me or I just don't want to lose because I need a basis for my tattoo artist, general national and international issues that annoy the hell out of me, asking everyone and no one at once for advice, venting...essentially it's going to be my new livejournal. Except I will try to take more pictures and upload them a lot faster.
Still haven't slept, still missing my guy, no one should miss someone this much after 3 dates. SRSLY. Now tell me that's simple infatuation with a touch of chemistry. I saw him Tuesday night. I am still convinced, with only circumstancial evidence, that I wound up with his leftover cheeseburger as a hint that I need to eat. I swear. As a junkfood junkie, I'd rather get a bacon cheeseburger at BK or a Bacon classic at Wendy's. I still wish they'd bring back the Monterey Ranch Chicken Sandwich at Wendy's. Those were good and I had an LJ user icon dedicated to the Ranch tooth.
"Ranch...ranch...ranch...ranch...ranch...ranch...ranch...ranch..."
"DUDE! TELL YOUR STUPID RANCH TOOTH TO SHUT UP!" Sorry but I laughed till I was either doubled over or crying with laughter at those ads. I'd say I'm 75% on wanting those ads back on and 25% on the actual sandwich.
Oh yes, I shall also review junk food in this blog because there's no such thing as too much-unless you're 700lbs, stuck-literally-to the sofa, need the wall of your house taken down to get you out, and you wash yourself with a rag on a stick!
Stay Thirsty My Friends!
~A